These are just a few things going through my mind lately:
I feel like im constantly hearing about marriage, and I find myself somehow in the middle of conversations about marriage. I guess its because alot of my friends are in the age range of being married and having relationships that are headed there.Obviously its something every girl dreams of, but so often we hear people say, “be realistic about marriage! its not some perfect dream world!” And yes on one hand i believe that, but at the same time marriage is supposed to be filled with romance, surprises, and overwhelming blessing of Life.
I wonder if marriage becomes “realistic” when people forget what Love is really about. Love isnt about provision, it’s not about work, its not about having kids. Love is about putting others above your own selfish desires. And unfortunately that’s what we are born with, selfish desires. How do you suppose you can Love someone so unconditionally if your so filled with your self and what you want. its impossible!
The divorce rate is ridiculous, and we often find the root of all the bitterness and hate to be a lack of Love. And essentially what it is, is one person being so focused on themselves that they neglect the others’ needs. And lets be honest, we have needs, needs to be intimate, physical, and emotional. Why do people so easily put this big idea of SUCCESS in thier mind? To find worth? To feel loved by others? To be placed on a pedastool that receives glory and admiration?
None of that sounds good to me! Because SUCCESS is something that warps the mind of false identity. You begin to look at SUCCESS to create your value, tell you who you are, and you lean on it to affirm yourself. No wonder people are so obsessed with being SUCCESSFUL! It’s a deceiving perception of who you are, and it defines you by what you do. So we can do and try as hard as we can to reach this goal of “success” that gives false identity and conditonal love. That says, “If we dont reach the goal, we are a failure.”
How in the world could a success FOCUSED person be able to properly function in a marriage; when they have a false sense of who they are, and a self serving attitude that feeds thier strive for success. So many people have a fear of failure that drives them to be so extreme, when in actuality they may be successful in work, but most likely a failure to their marriage.
Also, why do we feel so entitled to glory? glory and fame is not ours. God so divinely put within us gifts and talents to use for HIS Glory and edification. How dare we mis-use what He GAVE us? No wonder marriages fall apart, and it really is true that Happiness is not reached by money and fame.
I would give ANYTHING to be able to be with someone who i unselfishly lavish Love on consistantly! Because God has done that for me. When i screw up BIG TIME…i mean BIGTIME, He always wraps me in Love and Intimacey. He constantly forgives, and i KNOW in the very depth of my being that He will always provide,always protect, always give grace, because He will ALWAYS Love me. Provision, Security, Compassion, Intimacey are just a few things that happen BECAUSE of Love. You desire to do those things because you wholeheartedly love someone.
It overwhelms me to think that the answer is so clear but because of deception and perversity no one can see it! I desire so much to be a direct example of God’s love with my future marriage (even if that is like a million years away!)
If God gives me something, I want to steward it to the best of my ability. And if that means He will give me a marriage that unselfishly and completly vulnerabley loves, then I KNOW that success will come, because success to be is the opportunity to live life to its fullest and love until i cant anymore. And in having that I will be able to have an “unrealistic” marriage, that people will be blown away by, constantly wondering why its so filled with romance and fairy tales, and i can say “Because my God is the Romancer of my heart, and the Fullfiller of my dreams”