Moments
So I am sitting here in my living room, and I’m reminising about different things in life. I find myself noticing the importance of certain moments in life. The moments that completly confuse you, excite you, anger you, hurt you, make you wonder, make your heart ache, and moments that completly put you in awe. Recently I have experienced so many of these moments, and its these that shape and mold you, because ultimately these moments create experiences that teach you about life. I think to myself, “Why do i have to feel like this right now, what are you trying to teach me, God?” No answer.
Again, “Why is this important for me? I don’t want to have these feelings! I don’t want my heart to ache!” No answer. My heart beats in agony, frustration, and confusion. I’ve never felt moments like this during experiences like this. Life is supposed to be fun, exciting, and ok. But its not, its scarey, frustrating, and extremely challenging. I’m only 19, yet for some unknown reason God gives me moments, in experiences, in seasons of life that put me through hell and back.
I understand that, “I will learn so much, and it’s going to be great!” my optimist tells me. But all the while im screaming, “GOD, PLEASE GIVE ME DIRECTION AND REST. GIVE ME STRENGTH AND PERSEVERENCE. GIVE ME HOPE AND GRACE! because without hope and understanding of grace, there will be no rest, strength, perseverence to go steadfast in the direction you desire for me.”
