My Inclinations

Tonight was very interesting for me…i had emotions that ive never really experienced before…and to be honest i cant really explain what exactly they are. I know that it comes from deep within me, and makes known it’s existence very loudly.

I guess it just is a new phase, new season, new emotion type thing. But whatever it is, it has my attention. It almost feels like pain and heart ache, i think that might be it because as i write this i can feel it rise in me, bringing me to tears. I dont know what brings me so much heart ache, could it be the longing for more of God’s presence, the overwhelming heart surging love that rushes to my heart when i feel Him embrace my every existence.

Could it be the flesh desire for someone to physically embrace me who is enthralled completly with my beauty that God has hidden so deeply inside of me?

I think its a mixture of both, and the simple fact that God desire to speak to me is screaming through the Dave Matthews song im listening to. How? and why? why does He seek so earnestly after my heart when i have failed Him so many times? His Grace and Mercy is so immaculate…

“And now I’m praying that you’ll find me out
Stone, stone has pulled me down
But my faith has got me bound to your grey blue eyes

Don’t forget my broken heart
You remember it from the start
You made it and it’s all a part
Of your grey blue eyes “