My Inclinations

Recently, I have been finding myself bored;going through the motions. But at the same time i am very happy, but unsatisfied with where i am at. One side of me says its ok to not be content because with contentment, where is the room for faith?  If i never face a situation that makes me uneasy, how am i ever going to rely solely on God? But the other side says: “Chelsea, your always going from on thing to the next, you never persevere through something that is tough!” A friend of mine recently said to me, “you loose interest easily, don’t you?” and it kinda hit me hard, really just because i don’t want to loose interest easily. it makes me feel like a kid that whines for a toy then two days later doesn’t pay any attention to it.

    But thats not who I am, sure i have wants and desires, but i know that i don’t whine to God for something. I know that i don’t have to do that because He knows what i NEED better than i think i know what i want. So i know that my intentions are good, because my desire is for God’s plans to be done in my life, and nothing more. And i know that God allows certain things to happen so that obstacles are overcome and character is defined. But how am i supposed to know when the obstacle is over? Is it a undying restlessness or is it an overwhelming peace? because i can tell you right now i dont have the overwhelming peace. my heart races for so much more than going through the motions of
wake up
    get dressed
         go to work
                hang out a little
                    go to bed   
wake up
     get dressed
         go to work
                hang out a little
                    go to bed…

                                                                            and so on!

  I know that God isnt going to automatically LAUNCH me into my destiny without being ready, but then again how am i ever going to be ready enough? and when am i going to know when to go? which direction should i go? which job should i take? why am i so unhappy at a job that i thought would be so much fun? what kind of job will fit me well anough to  last me more than3-6 months?

And what are the chances that my inquiring about a cart girl job at Hackberry Creek country club would lead me to an opportunity to apply for administrative coordinator position?? and if i were to try for the boring desk job that i know i would hate, how do i know that i wont end up loving it? why am i such a lazy ass that doesnt want to do anything?

And i know that God has the answers to my neverending questions, but i feel like i have no time to seek Him. and I HATE that. i HATE that i dont spend enough time with Him. and i HATE that He’s not a top priority yet, and WHY is it soo effing hard to put Him first when He is the miraculous Father that put me together and MADE me who i am! you would think i would be smarter, but no, im dumb enough to be completly subjected to the truth but to deliberately not give Him more of my time?

Heres a thought for you:
       He thought of every single part of you
        your features
           your laugh
             your smile
                your passion
                    your pet pives
                        EVERYTHING!
so WHY not quench His

                                            vehement

desire to be with us, by opening your heart and saying,