My Inclinations

serioulsy life right now is not normal. all emotions im having just are out of my understanding. its so weird because obvioulsy i missed my best friend jordan leigh howeth, but lately life seems unbearable without her. i have the biggest desire for a good trustworthy friend, who i dont have to worry about telling everyone everything i say. the need for a good grilfreind is really high, and i dont know where to find it. ya jordan comes home in like two weeks so ill be fine, but it kinda blows my mind that i didnt find anything like it. i now understand why people are jealous of our friendship. and i can say that because people have told us, and what we have is something to want because its such an awesome friendship.

But in life right now i desire mature relationships with people. no more blown out of proportion stuff that happens in high school, why dont people leave that in high school? its not something that HAS to stay with you. its called wishing for the best in peoples character. i have recently been judged on my character, and it was so far off from what i really am that it bew my mind how someone could make such an assumtion and actually confront me about it! its like you hardly know me so why in the world would you say im acting one way when its not like my character at all. its ignorant!

i think alot of times thats what we do with God. we say God why did you do this and this and this, when in reality its not His character to do anything of the sort. i guess this is why judging people is so wrong, because we dont know whats truely in thier hearts until we get to know them as a person. same with God, we have no right to call God out on things that happen in our life until we know at least an ok amount about His character. and how we do that is reading the Bible. but at the same time God is so infinate that we can never truely know His entire character, but we can discern what is of Him and whats not.

i think im ready for something new, im so ready to start school!! i feel like my brain has gone to mush…i need some intellectual stimulants, or something that will tease my brain.

Well even though it has already passed and not really in anyones mind anymore, im posting about my 4th of july. i started off the morning being tired and hungry. having woken up at 1pm that afternoon, i felt like poo and just wanted to chill. a few nights before i had asked to borrow United 93 from my dear friend Josh Coad. so i figured, “hey it’s fourth of July why not celebrate it by remembering how much i love my country.” so i popped in the movie. i can’t completly explain the feeling that i had, because most of the movie was just like watching behind the scenes type stuff.

And it showed what was happening in the different places and whatnot at the same time, i just wish they would’ve put the time on there kinda like 24 because that would’ve help me a little more. But as i watched the people’s reaction when the towers were hit it was almost unreal to me, as if it hadn’t really happened in real life, but that it was jjust some made up story.

Then they showed how United 93 came together to stop the hijackers, and seriously ever single muscle in my body was tense. it gave me soo much pride in my country, even more than i had before, to watch then take over the hijackers. needless to say it was an amazing movie that gave me soo much more respect for my awesome country, and the people who serve it daily. the only bad part about the movie was that it made me wanna grab a gun and kill some al qaeda!!! anyways…

i guess thats all for now…my brain isn’t full functioning right at this moment…